Oh to a Femme

That sweet smelling shapely curvy girly gorgeous hard as diamonds ball of fluff so sharp you’ll cut yourself, that all-woman woman, that femme is hard to describe. Those femmes, boi those femmes, how can I begin to thank you for being you?

I can begin by thanking you for the way you move… rain tripping off a cat’s back, water snake skimming the surface some place hot and green like the Nile, your hips shifting side to side, moving towards me or away s’all good. The way you tip your hands mid speech, the way you drip sex from your lips and call it a smile…that little wink so quick a boy thinks he just wanted to see it. Femme, sometimes I spot you by the way you move. Straight femme, boy femme and oh gosh my all time, all nite favourite – lesbian femme - how I love your femme moves.

Thanks too for your sass. I love you love to tease. You like to put a boi in his place, even if s/he has a place in your heart. How high and mighty you act, how sweet you become between the sheets, how the jungle cat purrs kitten like in my arms. I love your hutzpur, your bare-assed cheek (I love both your bare assed cheeks), the way you dare to be who you are, feminine in a world where that is sometimes a dangerous thing to be. Cat calls, dogs whistles, builders bums and still you go on being you, a femme warrior proud to wear Prada.

Can I compare thee to a summer’s day? Hot – sure, what femme is not? On that summer’s day where would I better be than pouring my salty body over yours, languid femme, cool femme gossamer light, strong as a blade of wheat, a blade of grass having sense enuf to bend, hurricanes come and still you standing. All my nights are midsummers night with you, the shortest night, gone in a heartbeat, taken shaken and stirred by the breeze of you, the ease you move so gently through the world, giving back far more than you take.

You are who you are, it radiates from you; glitter from a star. No-one tells you how 2 be, what to wear. Lesbian femme I love you being you, don’t go changing, 2 many guys luv you just the way you are. Far from the days gay clubs turned you away…in your town still going down? Cum here. I’ll hold you, rest your weary head ‘pon my shoulder. I’m older, seen most things, been there, done you just the way you like it. Bolder than you used to be, femme. Back in the day, you had to earn the wedge, bring home the cheese on account your boi couldn’t get a j-o-b. Now we can stand together, play together, build a home together. You and me we all about the equality.

Hey femme, we got it goin on. I couldn’t love you more but each day proves me wrong. You’re all I want, all I need. Soft and strong, deadly and dangerous, assassin of my heart, thief of my better judgement, cat woman burglar of all my stupid outmoded ideas. You make me better than I could ever have been. The things I learn from you. I never knew a truly bitter femme. I’ve always known you reach out, reach down, feel compassion and godhelpus make us all feel it too. Welling up, I never could say nothing against the tears in your eyes femme, you know that I would always do whatever it takes to stop you feelin like that. Changing the world even. Boy, you make me a better man than any man I know. In this harsh world, oh to a woman but oh, oh, oh to a femme.

Are we as far as we think we are?

Friday night in the big city…after a hard week’s graft this boi wanted a simple thing: a lesbian club to kick back, have a drink or 2 with my mates and dance. Easy no? Here we are in 2008, London: city of more lesbians than you can shake a Jessica rabbit-tail at. Lesbians have civil partnership, protection from hate crime and something called a double trouser slender bender but check this: unless it happens to be the third Friday in the month of june on a blue moon in Aquarius if you wanna shake your booty better plan small moves.
We got regular clubs if by club you mean bar. You can go out any night of the week and its true someone will be flicking their ipod or spinning some vinyl through a sound system, you may get taxed or it may be free but whether we’re talking Candy (bar), First Out or Glass (bar) the dance floor’s as bijou as a candy girl go-go’s thong. I love all of those fine establishments by the way, and wanna say a quick “Hey. Thanx for being there, some of you for so many years donkeys think you’re old. Long-running lesbo establishments we love you.”

Where are the London lesbian clubs? I know we got 2nd Friday of the month clubs, 3rd, 4th and 1st Friday of the month clubs…what happens in a 5 week month btw? I don’t wanna consult an almanac b4 I go out…I just want a regular club, oh and is it too much to expect the club to be near a tube station…apparently so. My fruitless, unless I wanted mixed and out of central London, search for a lesbian club got me thinking. Have we come as far as we think we have? There were weekly lesbian clubs in the ‘90s – sure they closed down all the time and opened up somewhere else, but weekly they were. Are we one step from Equality, or two steps back?

Where too are the lesbian theatre companies? Anyone remember Red Rag, Slip of the Tongue, Ruby Tuesday, Gay Sweatshop? Of those Ruby Tuesday is still going, the rest have gone and haven’t been replaced. Sure we have some wonderful and talented lesbian performers – individuals producing great lesbian work. We haven’t got a strong, long established lesbian theatre company with a body of work behind it, funded and producing great lesbian theatre. Tara Arts, Talawa, Graeae may be having to cope with reducing arts funding but they are out there putting on shows their audiences want to see and informing people outside their communities, helping to entertain and change the world. Why aren’t we doing that? I know a lot of lesbians working in theatre, and it’s a reasonably homophobia free industry. Venues, notably the Drill Hall, will put on lesbian shows, in fact are very keen to know about quality work, so what’s stopping us?

Have we all settled down? Maybe lesbians don’t go to lesbian clubs, or want to see lesbian shows…is nobody coming out, drinking hard, searching for Ms Right or Ms 2Nite, is no-one in need of a little lesbian culcha? Lesbian pantos, lesbian farces, lesbian dramas – these are all much more enjoyable on the stage than IRL. Its not like we can stay home, awash with images of lesbians on our tv screens. Though you know, if there was a lesbian channel, it would be run by your ex, 24/7, most probably ranting about you.

Supply & demand, my son. Clubs and companies fold because they don’t do the door takings. If lesbians don’t fill the floor or squeeze their fine tushes onto theatre seats then there is no business, especially show business. Aren’t there more of us? I know we don’t breed so much but we must clone or something because there are more dykes than ever before, and if you count bi-curious well... Ultimately is it our own fault we don’t have regular clubs and shows, films, a tv channel or 2? Lesbians are very good at blaming their exes, so I blame all of mine for this current situation. You blame all of yours and while we’re all pointing the finger, remember there’s one finger pointing away and three pointing back. It is down to all of us We also have more power than ever before. We got more creativity, more inspiration, more talent. I know there still is demand: The York Lesbian Arts Festival brings together hundreds, on occasions thousands, of lesbians under the same roof to share, celebrate, chat, cruise, do what we do. It’s possible. The time is now, the power is you.

Know more about this subject? Got an opinion? Post a comment and let me know.